Sea Monkies

Month

November 2011

12 posts

A Boo?

So Thanksgiving was good. My brother Chris and his wife Linda decided to join us along with my Granny, Uncle and Grandaddy. As we were just sitting around, already ate we started talking about random things. The usual topic is animals being my family is centered HEAVILY with animals being my mom owns a petstore and Chris is a horse trainer. One topic came up that spooked me out to no end.

Not too long ago, Chris and I had a discussion about how they’ve been hearing odd noises outside, and Linda been acting a bit two faced. Nothing more was said after that short little moment, however just today, Chris mentioned to us that when they have the TV on at times, this black box will pop up on the screen. You can see a little bit around it, however still annoying. Ready for the creepy part? Both Linda and Chris says when it happens, text will appear in the middle of the black box with usually one or two words. One of the most memorable ones was the text that appeared that read, “Get Out!” and “Momma!”

I immediately said, “LOL YOU HAS GHOSTS. LOL NOPE NOT VISITING NO MORE.” Though that’s not the only ghost encounter I’ve heard, I’ve had a hands on one before.

My boyfriend’s house is possessed with a small ghost that likes to stomp (I mean, you not only could hear it, you could feel it rattle the floor)around from the living room and into the kitchen. He likes to knock over stuff in the kitchen and open cabnets. At first, I was extremely spooked. I usually stayed at my boyfriend’s house while he went to work all day and I would hide in his bedroom. At first, Kyle didn’t believed me and laughed at me because he would only appear when I was alone. Finally, one night Kyle was alone in his house and witnessed the ghost’s strange behavior. Kyle grew more spooked that I was.

I stayed for another week and started to actually get to know the ghost in a way. He loved the TV to be on and soon as I turned it on, would stomp his way to the living room and stay in there long as the tv was on. If the kitchen was dirty, he would make a racket. Cleaning the dishes he would stop opening the cabnets and knocking stuff over. I actually grew awkwardly close with this ghost, I called him Bart. Later that week, Kyle had a priest visit the house. Soon after he told us that the ghost was a young male that committed suicide in the kitchen area. Bart wasn’t an angry ghost but rather a melancholy one that enjoyed the “interaction” of humans. The priest blessed the house and now Bart is relatively calm. He doesn’t knock over stuff anymore, he just stomps on occasion.

Random ghost stories? yays.

Nov 24, 2011
Nov 22, 20111 note
Wait.. What?

It was just one of those days. I kept hearing just random stuff come from people mouths. The most notable one of the day happened at our short band practice today. Zoned out, Donell and I caught another clarinetist say,

“That’s something you do to your expensive sweater, not your cat!”

WUT.

Anyways, roommates are finally out of the house cause they went and stood their stupid asses outside in the cold at the movie theater to see Breakingshittiestseriesever Dawn. I could tell you a so many reasons why that series is just utterly terrible. Also, I would like everyone to know that bleach DOES NOT cover up cigarette smoke. My alcoholic roommate thinks it does. But before they left my roommate took the liberty to let out a long nasty ass fart in front of my door. Fuck you alcoholic roommate. Needless to say I ran about the apartment spraying some offbrand air freshener. Berry fucking fresh.

Nov 17, 2011
Lung Cancer

Fucking really? I hate it with the burning passion of my soul when my alcoholic roommate smoks INSIDE the house. I told her countless times I’m allergic, but she’s always drunk so I don’t think she ever remembers. The worse part of it is, it seems into my bathroom somehow and I have to lock it so it doesn’t creep into my room. Oh too late, it’s in room. Now I’ve gotta sneeze all day and smell her nasty ass cigarettes.

I swear she’s going to die by the time she’s 21. Yes she’s not even 21 yet and is an alcoholic. Sad huh?

Nov 17, 20111 note
I bet you like kung fu.

Quick story. Band practice seemed rough today, the usual. As my friend Donell and I were walking to our spots for halftime show, something flew on my hand. In the heat of the moment, I proceeded to sling my hand down because I didn’t realize what it happen to be. As it landed on the ground I could see it was a Praying Mantis! Cute little son of a bitch too. Well my friend Donell kept walking. The horror. The horror in our faces when he stepped down and crunched the poor son of a bitch. Like bosses, we kept walking with terror stretched across our faces. It was like everything in the world was silent, EXCEPT the crunching sound of the mantis under his shoe.

After halftime performance it was time for pre-game. At this point I had sceemed up a stupid ass joke to ask Donelle. As he approached me I prompty asked him,

“So Donell, I bet your favorite kung fu move is the PRAYING MANTIS? HUH?”

I have never seen someone fake laugh so hard in my entire life. And that’s my stupid ass shit story for today. Love it.

Nov 16, 2011
Walmart trip?

So today I was just herp derping in class with my friend Jazz. Well the teacher walks in looking rough. I MEAN ROUGH AND WRONG. Like sent through a blender from the 80s. Badly dressed, poor hair care and everything. Well I turned to my friend Jazz so the teacher wouldn’t think I was talking directly to her and said,

“DAMN GURL. Can I use those bags under your eyes to carry my groceries?”

Sadly, the teacher didn’t hear me. I kind of wish she did though.

Nov 16, 2011
Nov 15, 2011
You have family problems, bitch.

Well this one is kind of old, however a classic logic of my alcoholic roommate. I’m sitting in my room, it’s around 8 o’clock at night. My roommate comes in a little more messed up that usual and starts talking to jungle fever roommate. This her exact words,

“My grandmother felt bad for making me try CRACK so she bought me a bottle of VODKA.”

………….What?

Where is the logic in this?! First of all, your GRANDMOTHER made you try CRACK? That’s the last thing you need, you’re already fucking stupid. Second, a bottle of vodka? I hope your liver implodes on itself, you stupid bitch.

I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

Nov 15, 2011
Don't think I don't know.

I proceeded to walk in the kitchen and out of impulse check my Krispy Kream donut box. There was 4 donuts. Now there is 1. ONE FUCKING DONUT. BITCH don’t think I don’t KNOW you stole my donuts and ate them.

Thus I stole her pasta sauce and pours it on my ramen noodles. Sweet meat flavored revenge.

Nov 14, 2011
Glitz and glamour not dicks and clamor.

Every realized today’s definition of average beauty is a little messed up? Tan skin gone orange, black eyeshadow, bleaching the ever living fuck out of your hair? I mean, none of these things and healthy I don’t think. I’ll stick with my love for pin-up looks and women from the 50s as my inspiration to stay classy and not trashy.

Nov 14, 2011
The story of sea monkies.

The title of this tumblr actually has a reason behind it. It’s not just a random ass work I pulled from the dept of my cranium, no. The story pretty much follows the description. “Random ass blog that tells stupid ass shit that happens.” 

One day my mother and I went to a local toy store for me to pick up a Sea Monkey tank. I was so excited to have something other than our normal stuff. (Though my family owns a pet store, everything seemed about normal to me.) We got home, set up the tank and prepared to see a magical moment for shrimp like critters to be born. Just as they took their first stretch of life, my mom took the sea monkey’s food spoon and stirred them up. STIRRED. THEM. UP. I could see their little bitty faces screaming in terror as they swirled the the water tornado of DOOM. From the moment on, I realized I have a magnetism to random ass bad luck and misfortune.

And that kids, is the story of sea monkies.

Nov 14, 2011
Alcoholic Roommate and Roommate with Jungle Fever

Just as the title says… I don’t wanna live on this planet any more.

Nov 14, 2011
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